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Man Rules

#1 User is offline   Dagger Icon

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 09:06 PM

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

I copied this from another forum, but wanted to share it with all my buds here!

This post has been edited by Dagger: 08 February 2010 - 09:23 PM

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#2 User is online   DaveJS Icon

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 09:21 PM

That is great. I loved it. My wife is cool, like sports are not an issue because she watches them with me. The toliet seat rule has been established, I asked her that same thing years ago on what the difference was. She couldnt answer it, so if the seat is up, she doesnt bitch about it. :drinks:
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Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
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#3 User is offline   OvS Icon

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 06:40 AM

This is top notch stuff!! :drinks:
"Crush the Krumpet Menace!!"
The Black Baron of Boistrancourt
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#4 User is offline   TX3RN0BILL Icon

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 06:41 AM

Finally! The Truth™ in print! Great post! :drinks:
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#5 User is offline   Slartibartfast Icon

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 07:26 AM

ahhh another amusing start to the day...
You are never lost... just finding new and interesting places and then scaring the locals....


P.S. Dont forget your towel...
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#6 User is offline   UK_Widowmaker Icon

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Posted 11 February 2010 - 08:55 AM

It's been copied and printed..and now holds pride of place on the Fridge door... Mrs Widowmaker..TAKE NOTE!

Great post! :drinks:
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"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." -Voltaire
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#7 User is online   DaSpungie Icon

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Posted 11 February 2010 - 11:23 AM

one you forgot

show up naked and bring beer
Yup you guessed it I have no idea of what I am doing or of what I or you are talking about.
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